A few weeks ago I fell soon after walking out of a pharmacy where I was getting some medicine for myself. I bruised my knee, was bleeding and had to go back into the pharmacy to get some bandages. It was so painful. I limped back to my car thinking, what’s next? Because I had scratched my skin off my foot just a few days before and was struggling to wear shoes. Why was I scratching, you might wonder? I have been battling eczema from birth and when it gets hot, I get so itchy. And Harare had been hot for a minute.
The next 2 weeks, wearing shoes was a mission. Thank God I work from home and don’t have to be wearing them ALL THE TIME. Playing with my son also became dreadful because he would just (unintentionally) poke at my knee. He also seemed to not understand why I had bruises. The confusion on his face seemed to rise when I put a bandage on. Poor boy, couldn’t even ask mummy. He just would sometimes softly try to touch those nasty wounds. Besides wearing shoes, kneeling was difficult, something I do a lot when I am trying to pick up his toys.
“When will this end?” I thought to myself.
But slowly, the wounds started to heal. And when I realised that the pain was getting less and less, I remember thinking to myself, Finally. Because it honestly, felt like it was going to last forever.
I also started having thoughts about difficult seasons that we go through in life that seem to have no end. The shock we get at the onset of the difficult events, the bleeding (physically, emotionally or spiritually), and the many attempts we make to heal. Right there, in the beginning, it really feels like there is no end in sight. But healing comes, we start to cope and, eventually, pain ends. Seasons are not permanent. I’ve just told you earlier how I scratched my skin off because the heat was really affecting me. But as I type this, it’s a cool 19 degree morning and you can tell that “Winter is coming”. The hot season is coming to an end. I know that before we even blink, everyone here will be complaining about the cold and, even that will end too.
I am writing this post for that person who is going through a difficult time, a pain or discomfort that seems endless. It will end. The sun will shine oh so beautifully again. The heat you are feeling will be cooled off. You will not feel like this forever.
It’s been about a month since my mighty fall outside the pharmacy, my wounds are completely healed but the scars are there and very visible. When I look at the scars I think about that fall, I remember the pain but I also am so grateful that the pain did not last forever. Touching those scars doesn’t hurt me at all now. I can play with my son without worrying about him poking at me and inflicting pain. He still looks at the scars in wonder but, if he was to ask me about it, I would only have a story to tell about a difficulty I went through and a pain I once felt. As much as there are scars left, the pain is gone and am not even triggered by any pokes at them now.
Think about about the physical and emotional wounds you carry. Have they healed? Are you giving them time to heal? I know you want it to happen right away so you might want to take off scabs prematurely off your wound. I remember how badly I wanted my knee to heal. I did take out a scab and, my goodness, started bleeding again. Pain can feel like such an inconvenience. It is also very uncomfortable. But give yourself time. You have been hurt. You will come out on the other side – healed. Another thing is healing doesn’t leave us the same. There are scars which may manifest as changes in our character, personality, preferences or life choices. Whatever it is, I hope you emerge stronger, despite the pain.