Lately, I have found myself saying this a lot: You don’t know what you don’t know. I decided to write this blog post to expand on this, especially after a recent experience that reminded me why I keep hammering on this point.
Let’s start with the story.
Yesterday, in the late afternoon, I was about to go to the Farmer’s Market when I realised I had a flat tyre. I just rolled my eyes and told my son, We’re going to have to walk to the nearby shops and get what we need. Meanwhile, I sent a message to my mum, letting her know about the flat tyre.
A few minutes later, she asked if I had fixed it. I told her no as I couldn’t focus on that while also watching my son.
My mum laughed and said, It’s not like you know how to change a tyre.
I laughed back and told her, Lady, I know how to do it.
She decided to dare me and asked if she should bring the tools I needed (by the way, my jack wasn’t working properly, so I needed hers). A few minutes later, mum arrived, ready to see her daughter shine.
But unfortunately, I was too caught up in feeding my son and attending to his seemingly endless demands. He was irritable, and by the time I was done, it was getting dark. I asked my mum to watch him while I changed the tyre. She stayed inside while I got to work, but honestly, I could barely see what I was doing.
I took out the spare wheel, placed the jack under the car, and started working. It was hard work. Respect to my tyre service team at Homeground! I tried to unscrew the nuts and bolts, but they were so tight, as if Goliath himself had secured that tyre. I was struggling.
My mum came out to check on me and found me still battling those stubborn nuts and bolts. She even tried to loosen them herself, but they wouldn’t budge. By then, it was completely dark, and my son was even more irritable. I decided to just deal with it in the morning.
Mum asked, “Are you sure you can do this?”
I answered, “Of course!”
The morning struggle
Now, you might be wondering why my mum doubted me so much. Simple: she had never seen me change a tyre. Ever! She had only seen me watch others (including her) do it. Yes, my 60+ year-old mother can change a tyre! Do I blame her for doubting me? Nope.
I had never changed a tyre on my own. I had passed a spanner, helped screw the nuts back, but the whole process? Never.
Fast forward to this morning. I woke up determined to get it done. It shouldn’t be hard, I told myself.
I got started, but those nuts and bolts were still stuck. So I decided I’d work on the jack while keeping an eye out for someone stronger than me (a.k.a. a man LOL) to help with the bolts.
As I was working, our caretaker passed by. Hallelujah! I asked him for help with the spanner, and let me tell you, those nuts and bolts were so tight even he struggled! He ended up jumping on the spanner in his huge safety shoes just to loosen them. Finally, they came off, and he left me to continue.
I jacked up the car, removed the flat tyre, but just as I was taking it off… the jack slipped 😭 My car was now lower than low.
I wanted to scream.
I had already struggled with this jack, so I knew I couldn’t bring the car up again to fit the spare wheel. There was definitely need for a second jack help with the lift. So I kept working on the “faulty” jack, hoping for a solution.
My drive-by rescue
Just as I was reaching my limit and thinking, maybe I should just do InDrive, a man driving by stopped and asked if I needed help.
I told him I needed a second jack. He parked his car, took out his jack (which honestly looked ‘healthier’ than mine), and immediately said, Before you start working, always place your spare tyre halfway under the car. That way, if the jack slips, the tyre will catch the car.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, was my first lesson of the morning.
Then, as he placed his jack next to mine, he said, Look at the placement of your jack. Then look at mine.
I looked, and immediately saw the difference. My jack was not positioned properly, which is probably why it was harder to lift the car and I assumed it was faulty 🙈.
Second lesson of the morning.
He helped lift the car, and I tried to fit the spare tyre. It wasn’t going in properly. He checked and said, Not quite yet.
He raised the car a little higher, created enough space, and then fitted the tyre onto the bolts himself.
Third lesson of the morning.
Finally, I secured the nuts and bolts, and let me tell you, this entire process felt like an intense gym session at Invictus! My entire body was sore.
Now, I had to rush to get ready for school run. As I was getting ready, my helper laughed and said she had been convinced I knew exactly what I was doing.
I told her, I do have experience… watching others do it. 😂
After dropping my son at school, I went to my mum’s house. She was eagerly waiting to hear about my tyre-changing adventure.
At first, I told her casually, Yeah, I did that.
Then, I gave her the full, blow-by-blow account. She laughed at me. 😂
I told her, There was no way I was going to admit that my 60+ year-old mum can change a tyre and I can’t! 🙈
But honestly, as tough as it was, I’m glad I allowed myself to go through the struggle. I learned a new skill and saved a little money in the process (emphasis on little 😅).
The real lesson: You don’t know what you don’t know.
But learning didn’t come easy or (honestly) cheap. Because I didn’t fully understand how to use the tools at my disposal, I ran into problems that forced me to seek help.
If I had just told my mum, I think I know how this works, but please guide me step by step, she probably would have started by showing me how to place the jack correctly.
Instead, pride and the fear of embarrassment took over, and I took the long way to the solution.
Oh, did I mention the bruises I got in the process? Yeah… learning is painful sometimes.
The other day, I was saying to someone that basic car mechanics should be mandatory when getting a driver’s license. There are so many of us with a spare tyre and all the tools, but if faced with a flat, we wouldn’t even know where to start.
I think that’s why my mum learned. She’s always on the road, and a flat tyre is not about to delay her schedule. To her, it’s a Tier 0 car problem. No need to escalate 😂
So, back to my favourite saying at the moment: You don’t know what you don’t know.
What am I saying? You may have some knowledge, but there are gaps you’re not even aware of.
We often operate within the boundaries of what we already know and don’t seek out more information because we don’t realise what we’re missing. I assumed watching my mum and the guys at Homeground change tyres was enough for me to execute the same task.
I refused to learn from my mum, went ahead with zvinhu zvemusoro wangu (things of my own head😂), and paid the price. Yes, I learned, but at what cost?
Oh yeah, I forgot to mention that we were late for school and got caught in the Nemakonde traffic.
This experience reminded me to stay open to learning. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to do something yourself, whether it’s changing a tyre, doing your own braids, baking a cake, or starting a new career. But choosing the DIY route means you have to be willing to learn from others who have hands-on experience. It saves time and effort.
So, ask for help. Your basic understanding may not be enough to succeed in execution.
Now, let me ask: How many of you can actually change a tyre? Have you ever tried and failed? Let me know your experience in the comments!