How I Recently Discovered My Father’s (Massive) Wealth

Recently I was listening to an audiobook, Killing Comparison by Nona Jones and also listening to some excerpts from her most recent one, The Gift of Rejection. Both inspired me to write this post and I highly recommend them to anyone who is struggling to find their place in a world that is constantly pressuring us to place value in external approval (maLove nemaLikes 😉) and not necessarily making a genuine positive impact in this world.

I have always been one to think that I am very lucky when I get an opportunity, regardless of how big or small it is. Whether it was being invited to a party, asked out on a date, chosen for a job, or even included in a friendship. These kind of moments filled me with gratitude. I was always happy to be “picked,” and it felt like an acknowledgment that, maybe, I was worthy of something good in my life.

But if I’m being honest, there was a deeper layer to this belief that I hadn’t fully realised. The feeling of luck I had wasn’t just gratitude. It was rooted in a belief that I was somehow “undeserving” unless I was chosen, hand-picked, or given a chance by a parent, relative, friend, employer, client, church leader, boyfriend or spouse. I’m not really sure if middle child syndrome also contributed to me having this mindset. I just thought the opportunities I received were rare gifts, and therefore, I was always walking on eggshells, trying to please, trying to earn, trying to prove that I deserved them.

Unfortunately, this mindset led me down some unhealthy paths. I became a people-pleaser, constantly sacrificing my needs and boundaries in order to keep others happy. I became a perfectionist, always pushing myself, and sometimes others, to be “good enough” or “mistake-free” even though it always felt like I never reached those states. I found myself tolerating (and at times even contributing to) toxic behaviours, toxic relationships, and even disrespect because, somewhere deep down, I convinced myself that this was the best I could get, and the best I could offer in return. I thought this was just the life I was meant to have, and that I should be grateful for it. I didn’t realise that I was worthy of more, or that more was even possible.

I struggled internally with this for a long time, unable to imagine a better life for myself, because, well, I guess I didn’t know better. I thought that this was the reality I had to accept. But there was a cognitive dissonance that kept creeping up on me and would show up as me trying to stand up for myself, for example. However, I didn’t quite know how to shift from trying to please everyone to doing what I felt aligned with my personal values. I wish I could say the outcome of that was always pleasant. It wasn’t – but that’s a story for another day.

Then fast forward to a few years ago, I found myself in therapy and that experience set me on a path that did two things. First, it helped me identify this unhealthy mindset. Second, it led me to God, my Father, and this knowledge of Him started healing the pain that came out of living with this mindset and ultimately altering my thinking patterns.

My therapist at the time unpacked what salvation meant in a way I had never heard before. Most importantly, she helped me understand who God really was and the role He played in my life. I have always known God, but it was only at this point that I began to truly know Him and relate to Him as my Father. I must admit, losing my earthly father had a lot to do with me getting here as well.

Growing up, I really had a surface-level understanding of who God was. I knew that He created me, that He had given me a set of guidelines to follow in His Word, and that my purpose was to try to live in a way that pleased Him. But there was something missing. I thought that to earn His approval, I had to follow His rules and guidelines to the T. I thought that I had to never make mistakes and never fall short. And when I inevitably did, I believed that I was one of the “lucky” ones if and when He still chose to bless me.

It’s only now that I have come to realise and learn that my understanding of God was so limited. Because now I know that God isn’t about luck. He’s not about choosing a select few to be His favourites. We were already chosen. He’s not about making me earn His love or His blessings. He is good all the time, and His goodness is not based on my ability to be perfect. He is good because of who He is, not because of anything I can ever do. He already knows I am flawed.

Now, as I spend more time with Him and continue to understand the depth of His love and the abundance of His provision, I realise that God created each of us with purpose. I wasn’t just placed on this earth to “get by” or to be lucky every time something good happened. I wasn’t an accident, a random being trying to earn His love. No. God intentionally knit me together in my mother’s womb. He had a purpose for me, a plan for my life, and that purpose was to fulfil a role in His Kingdom.

There is no way God would create such a beautiful world and such beautiful people (His children) to hate them. So if God is good all the time and if He created me with a purpose then surely He would provide for me everything I need to fulfil that purpose, right?

²⁸ “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. ²⁹ Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. ³⁰ If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?

Matthew 6:28-30

The Bible says in Romans 8:17, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” This scripture has helped me to change how I see myself. I don’t have to beg for scraps. I have been entrusted with divine purpose and divine provision and as long as I choose to live aligned to this purpose I have access to EVERYTHING I need.

I also understand that it is not a path without pain, trials or tribulations, but I have hope in this passing because I believe that even Christ went through such trying and painful ordeals at the hands of man, and yet He still conquered death on a Cross for my sake!

This realisation hits me like a ton of bricks ALL THE TIME! Honestly, if my Father is the Creator of the universe, the Owner of all wealth, and the Giver of every good thing, then am I really lacking anything? How could I possibly think that I am limited in any way, or that I am destined to live a life of scarcity, lack, or mediocrity? I surely should be able to sit and evaluate certain behaviours towards me and ask myself, “Is this God’s best for me?” Or “Is this meant to be a lesson thing or a lifetime thing?”

God is not a God of lack. He is a God of abundance. Abundance of good things. Understanding this has me realising that I have been living beneath my privileges as His child. I have been limiting myself with the belief that I was just lucky to get by, when in reality, I am an heir to His Kingdom, a Kingdom that is overflowing with riches, blessings, and endless possibilities.

I have stopped thinking that I have to “earn” my place in God’s Kingdom. I realise that I was born into it by His grace, not by my performance or supposed good deeds. My Father’s wealth (His goodness, His blessings, His provision) is mine by birthright. And it’s not just a matter of material wealth. It’s about the spiritual abundance that comes with knowing Him deeply and living in alignment with His purpose for my life.

Today, when I go into a secret place with Him and talk to Him about my life, I speak with confidence about my heart’s true desires knowing well that He hears me and He answers me in His perfectly appointed time, in His perfectly orchestrated way. Today I choose to listen to Him when He reminds me about who I am, whose I am, what I deserve and how I should feel when I am walking in His purpose that He destined for my life.

I now understand that God has equipped me with everything I need to live out my calling, and that includes confidence in His provision. When I look at my life now, I see lots of opportunities, gifts, and blessings, not because I’ve earned them, but because my Father is good and He wants me to thrive. I don’t have to be lucky. I have and need to be aligned with His will over my life.

And that’s the massive wealth I’ve recently discovered. That’s my Father’s wealth, His provision, and His purpose. And the best part? It’s not just available to me. It’s also available to you.

God’s abundance isn’t about what we can accumulate for ourselves. It’s not about the amount of money we have or the number of cars, houses, clothes or shoes we own. It’s about what He’s already given us to fulfil the purposes He has placed in our hearts. When we align with His plan for our lives, we begin to see that we are not just fortunate to be alive. We have been set on a mission and empowered to live a life of abundance, purpose, and impact.

So, if (like me) you’ve been walking through life feeling like you’re just lucky to have what you have, I encourage you to take a deeper look. Consider stepping into your true identity as a child of God and live in the abundance that He has already prepared for you.