Are You an Imposter? How to Overcome the Syndrome That Holds You Back

Have you ever felt like you’re just one mistake away from being “found out”? Like all your achievements are a fluke, and it’s only a matter of time before someone realises you’re not as capable as they think? That nagging feeling, as it turns out, has a name: imposter syndrome. And trust me, it’s more common than you might think.

I know this because I’ve been there. My first real encounter with imposter syndrome happened about 12 years ago when I landed a manager role less than a year after finishing my graduate training. I didn’t even know what to do with that promotion. I am so sure on the outside, it looked like I had worked incredibly hard to earn this, but to me, I was just working the best way I knew how and wasn’t exactly aiming for a promotion at the time.

Needless to say, I didn’t just struggle to celebrate for this achievement, I struggled to settle into this role as well and was so affected by how this reflected among my colleagues, especially some those who I had found there and I considered “my seniors.” If you come from a culture of seniority, you know what I’m talking about. I struggled to call out bad behavior, for example, and would just take it.

I will never forget one remark a colleague once made after someone complimented my work. He literally said, “Some people work hard. Some people work late.” I knew he was taking a jab at me because I used to put in long hours resolving some complex issues with third-party service providers. Unfortunately, at the time, our department was rather understaffed, but I never wanted that to get in the way of the level of support I would give users. So the end result? I had to put in more hours to compensate.

As much as I didn’t like what he said, I actually unconsciously started to believe it. I started thinking that I didn’t deserve to be recognised for my efforts. I thought maybe my bosses were just feeling sorry for me.

Years later, I heard about imposter syndrome for the first time. I think it was at a networking event. I realised, “Oh, that’s what THAT was!” It had a name, and I was suffering from it. Well, that’s not a good thing. In case you are hearing about this term for the first time, let’s get the terminology out of the way and I have also plugged in this segment where Michelle Obama explains this.

Imposter syndrome, also known as imposter phenomenon or impostorism, is the tendency to believe your success is undeserved and that someday people will realise you’re a fraud. This is exactly how I was feeling. Every time I would be asked to join a boardroom full of executives, I used to think, “I’m really not supposed to be here,” and the feelings of inadequacy would heighten even more when I made a mistake or faced an issue beyond my control.

Years later, having gone through coaching and therapy, I learned that imposter syndrome is actually linked to other conditions like anxiety, perfectionism, and low self-esteem. I have a friend who happens to be a coach who, when asked about imposter syndrome, always counter-asks, “Are you an imposter?” Seriously, that question would always get me and helped me start healing from the chronic levels I was experiencing.

Was I an imposter?

Did I not know how to do my job?

Did I not know how to help others do their job?

Did I not know how to learn those (other!) things I didn’t know?

Did I not have a track record of resolving issues and getting things done?

Yet, here I was looking for the slightest possible reason to believe I didn’t deserve recognition for my efforts. Here I was thinking I needed permission to be recognised for the work I had done.

The truth is, we all carry insecurities. All of us. OK, maybe many of us. There are places we are bound to feel inadequate for one reason or another. I know I feel it from time to time. But each time it happens, I remember first that question: “Are you an imposter?” If the answer is no, then I know I need to shake this off. But if the answer is yes, then I know I need to identify where I feel the gaps are and address them.

Here are three tips I’ve found helpful in dealing with imposter syndrome:

1. Acknowledge Your Feelings and Reframe Your Thoughts

It’s OK to feel like you don’t belong sometimes, but recognise that feelings aren’t facts. Start reframing those thoughts with evidence of your accomplishments. Remind yourself of the skills, experiences, and successes that got you to where you are today. Following the advice of one the instructors on Career Masterclass, I try to keep what she calls a brag sheet to remind myself of my achievements because I know if I don’t shake it off, I will go on a downward spiral that could even lead to me feeling unnecessarily stuck.

2. Celebrate Small Wins

Imposter syndrome can make us downplay our successes. Take a moment to celebrate even the small wins. Recognise the effort you put in and give yourself credit where it’s due. I started journaling religiously in 2022 and I write about anything and everything including those small career wins. Going back to read some of these entries is always encouraging and helps remind me that the small wins lead to the big ones.

3. Seek Support and Share Your Experience

Talking about imposter syndrome with trusted friends, mentors, or a coach can be incredibly freeing. You’ll realise you’re not alone and might even find practical advice or a fresh perspective to help you manage those feelings. My friends and I never get tired of talking each other out of imposter syndrome. We all know we experience it and we all know we need some extra encouragement to move past it.

Listen, imposter syndrome doesn’t have to hold you back. You’ve already made it this far, and you belong here. Don’t forget to remind yourself of that!